Fear of revealing the truth

I have tried to post several times since my first post.  I have written them and then cancelled them.  As I tried to write, I found myself afraid to post.  What am I afraid of?  I spoke to my sister, Vicki, and my daughter, Dana, and shared how I was afraid.  In considering some of my fears, I realize that I am pretty private about my pain and suffering.  I have tried not to burden my family and friends with my daily aches and pains.  I remember several years ago I called each of my four grown children on the telephone and told them how much I loved and appreciated their care and concern but......I asked them to please not ask me how I felt anymore because this was my disease and I didn't want it to be their burden.  Of course, being the good people they are, of course they still cared and worried.  I just didn't want it to be a topic of our conversations.  Maybe I thought if I didn't acknowledge it, it would go away.  So....after speaking to my sister and my daughter, they both told me that I need to be brutally honest on this blog if I truly wanted to help others, as well as myself.  So, here goes, here I come.